i had started working my last two years of college. the income barely covered my expences, i saved very little. buying my first car took a lot of that. i loved my mom and dad but regretted i was to move back home. i knew dad loved me but hated my lifestyle. mom loved having me home. i was a neat freak and kept her house spotless. i could cook just like her. at that time thank gawd i did not pay rent nor did i have to buy food.

i had to work with 2 dentists to get just three days work. Dr. Dubya wanted me but he was still full staff. i picked up waiter duties and cleaned two houses to make money.

other than my hair did daddy ever see for sure i was not a macho guy. two of my three brothers wore earrings, i wore two. i only wore my rings and bracelets out of daddy's sight. at my two older brother's weddings daddy saw me in full male attire. including shoes.

after two years of struggling i got on full-time with Dr. Dubya, i got my first apartment and replaced my bucket of bolts. i also found my soulmate. i never ever flawnted him in front of dad or my older brothers. Both mom and my baby brother knew he slept in our bedroom.

working for dr. dubya again was great. his office staff was still there. they obviously saw my leotards and i had to lift my pant legs daily to see the loud color of my tights. they saw my crocs, Mary Janes and feminine tennis shoes. i was part of all the staff's social events.

daddy became sick and it was a 8 month long adventure. i spent all my free time there careing for him and helping mom. she was wore out taking care of him all day. many nights i slept in my old room or on the couch knowing that i would need to care for him in the night. i did good not lettiing him see me too feminine until his mind was gone. when my boyfriend stayed with me he stayed out of sight.

when dad left us i dressed as a man through the process. at formal social events my pant suits were from the women's department i still never dressed in full drag. it just wasn't my style.

around my home i lived in just leotards and tights. as my code of dress. if you dropped by you saw it. mom saw it as did chad. he lived with me and scott for a couple years. his friends saw it. my older brothers saw me on holidays only. i wore pants around them. my lifestyle was not theirs but i conformed to see my nieces and nephews.. they however had to see and deal with Elliot. he was a macho gay man. they could talk sports and hunting easily. they never invited him out socially.

in my early thirties i came down with testiclar cancer on my right testis. during the process my doctors saw i wore at least panties and tights or tights and leotards. i asked if this may have caused this and he said no. it probably caused me not to produce children but that was not important to me. when he removed the one i had him remove both. i now look like i have had a c-section. i still look good in briefs at the beach. i just don't have nut bulges. if the water id cold i look like a girl.

thx LT