i understood my restriction, it was not normal for a boy to want to wear these things but, what is normal? It took me less than a year to establish a mild collection of things i loved. i just did a better job of not being caught. mom and i never spoke of it but, she bought me panties. She gradually encouraged dad to let my hair grow longer. in the 8th, 9th and tenth grades, my mates saw normal underthings in the public locker room.

i was pretty flambouyant thought. my shirts, sweaters and socks had to be color coordinated. my slacks were khaki in white, tan, black or navy. i wore jeans sometimes. I never for those few years took the least risk of being caught again.

during the summer of my 11th grade school year my struggle began to fail. i was still small and frail. i played in the park with my pals. still i was not first nor last picked. a few had nicknamed me sissy and i dealt with it.

i no longer had to dress out in gym so under my clothes the leotards and tights returned. i no longer wore boy's underwear. mom without saying knew what i was doing. she did my laundry half the time. she saw my nylon clad ankles and knew those were not dress socks. dad watched me in the park and saw i was trying to be a masculine young boy. he mildly freaked out if i wore pink. even that subsided later.

at late 16 or early 17 dad had another rude awakening. my older brothers were out. college or on their own. it was mom, dad me and my baby brother. dad and Chad were supposed to be off hunting. it was early and i was in a t-shirt, panties and white tights. i heard a crash boom bang followed by screams of help! I dashed out my room and up the hall. i found mom at the bottom of the basement stairs in a position not natural. i raced to her side, i then called EMS.

she kept telling me to get dressed, i was not leaving her side. the fire truck came and the amblance. two neighbors too. not to make light of her injuries, everyone saw my dress code. as it came time for a neighbor to take me to the er i finally put on jeans.

at the er i kept tugging at the t-shirt i picked. it was a generic white but designed for a girl. my pants were boys but cover-alls. skin was visible plus the waist of my tights and panties visible. dad and my brother hugged me when they got there, i felt dad's hand on my skin. i knew he was no idiot

during mom's recovery, dad arranged through the school for me to be on homebound instruction. it was scheduled for 6 weeks. during this time mom saw i had reverted to my old ways. dad and my baby brother saw nothing. and there it began. this time forever

dad brought home my last week assignments from school. he, mom and i went over my better than average evaluations. dad said next week you go back to school. i hugged mom and we joked it was time for her to get back to work.

dad after prompting from mom took me shopping. i had a growth spurt. it began looking for painters pants and cover alls. i looked through a million pair of jeans. daddy expressed i was as bad as mom to shop with. i told him nothing looks right on me. dad offered he thought i looked fine. i gave up and said okay, i give and you win

before we checked out, dad said okay. lets start over. you go pick out what you want. i was like really! i found 4 tops, two pair of jeans and 2 pair of slacks, all with girl designer labels. i found 2 pair of shoes. i found a great package of 7 panties.

i snuggled up to dad in his truck going home.